the miracle of money

today, i went to giant tiger, in ottawa. i went to do inventory with sam. the crap part of this tory, is one: i got really quessy and weak/cold/hot flashes on the bus and two i didint get to work with sam, which is why i went. so i spent three hours counting stupid tags and feeling a mixture or dizziness etc. it started getting better near teh end, but my mood didint improve because to my knowledge i was working for free for a stupid corportation without even being able to chill with sam. and being the pushover i am i didint try to leave till 9 because i didint want to leave me "partner" alone to do the rest of the counting even though she works there. but amazingly enough, i was rewarded for my efforts! yeah, it seemed to have passed by my understanding but i actually was getting payed to help. HOLY CRAP. that kinda made me feel bad becasue, though i was doing an acceptable job i was necesarily being a stelar employee, more or a half zombie one. but anyways, it occured to me that suddenly my time didint seem so wasted. and then it occured to me that it is funny that such a little sum of money could have made me feel that way. working changes your view on things like this. before i got my job at gpc, which wasnt long ago, i wouldnt have cared about wasting my evening putting counting baby pyjamas cause what else would i do(though the sick feeling would have still sucked) but now, because i know i ahve to work tomorow at 12, teh thought of being out of the house feeling sick and working for free was less then inspiring. i hate money. but more then that i hate my need of it. worst still, i hate my want of it. yes i want money. why? to feel stable. you would think thats an odd thought for a teen living at home but tis true. im not a big spender, i hord my money and why? because it reasures me that i ahve it put aside. i need money to travel but i know even in that case i will not give up my money without a second thought. i think the idea of spending my saving for 2 to 3 weeks in ireland, though its worth it, will urk me a little. i dont really know what i think i have to save moeny for......
thats all i ahve to say i think.